An Odd Social Distancing Phenomenon

I have a very wise friend who over the last few years has given me some incredibly helpful advice. We chatted for a few minutes recently when she picked up some eggs from my house. She asked me how I was doing, and I told her the odd truth: in spite of the social isolation due to the coronavirus, I’m doing very, very well–maybe even better than I was before.

She looked at me pointedly and said, “Probably because you’re not overexerting yourself.”

I thought about this for a long time after our conversation. It does explain why, despite not being able to be around groups of people (which I love), my anxiety levels dropped and my mind feels clearer and better able to focus than it did before. I enjoy my time at home much more than I used to, and I finally feel like my family is its own little community, helping, loving, and supporting each other through each life event, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

That doesn’t mean I don’t miss my friends dearly! I do–I absolutely do. But, I think that having less to think about week-by-week showed me that I had my priorities all mixed up.

Early last fall, I began the school year as a leader in the Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) Children’s Program, a tutor in Classical Conversations (CC), and the student of a great ukulele teacher. Monday evenings consisted of lesson planning for BSF, Tuesday evenings consisted of reading and planning for our CC Community Day, and Wednesday evening was Bible study night and wrapping up any CC preparations. Thursday evening I finally found time to relax and practice my fun, new instrument. After my ukulele lesson on Saturday morning, the entire process began again. Life began to get crazy-hectic, and I started to feel crazy for thinking I could manage all that!

I left the BSF Children’s Program in November. I could tell I felt off. When the coronavirus shut-downs in early March stopped our CC school year in its tracks, I finally found time to breathe and relax a little. The kids and I frolicked in the backyard with our chickens. We built blanket forts in the basement and pretended to hide from monsters out to destroy our fuzzy sanctuaries. Brian and I suddenly had time in the evening to just sit on the couch and talk uninterrupted for an hour or two. My sister came to visit and I went to visit her, and we didn’t make any elaborate plans. We just had fun and laughed a lot together. I didn’t feel quite so distant from my little family anymore.

I had been overexerting myself, and it took a pandemic (and a good friend) to make me realize it.

Homeschooling moms have so many items to prioritize on their daily to-do lists. (I’m not saying working moms don’t–I’m just speaking about my own demographic here.) I didn’t realize the mental strain that keeping track of lesson planning, teaching lessons, and every day household duties could put on the brain of an already-tired mom. I thought I was beyond feeling overwhelmed, like some kind of teacher-mom-superhero. But my body does have limits; my brain definitely has limits.

I worried for a long time that needing physical and mental rest meant that I wasn’t finding my rest in Christ–that my anxiety meant I somehow wasn’t relying on Jesus enough. If God placed me in these programs, BSF and CC, then I must be able to do them unflinchingly. If I couldn’t, then something must be terribly wrong with me.

That was absolutely, definitively not the case.

God made our bodies with limits, so that we could turn to our limitless God for strength when we feel weak, courage when we feel afraid, hope when we feel overwhelmed. Our frailty forces us to rely on God alone. He sets limits for each of us, for our good–our growth in reliance on Jesus–and for His glory–that others might see His limitless strength, wisdom, and grace. I was trying to function well beyond the limits God gave me, and He showed me that I can trust in His mighty works.

I also fall easily into the comparison trap. Just because my friend does a long list of things, doesn’t mean that I can. God created each of us for a specific purpose to do specific things for the glory of His kingdom. I don’t need to do what the person next to me does–all I need to do is exactly what God calls me to do. Again, this points us to God’s limitlessness and our limitations. God could build His kingdom without our help, but He joyfully gives His people ample opportunities to build alongside Him.

This past year, God taught me that we can be finding our rest in Christ while simultaneously acknowledging that we reached our limits long ago and need to slow down before we break down. That’s okay–that’s absolutely, definitively okay.

Feature photo: Aaron Burden on Unsplash