The Hero Complex

In many ways, this is a “part two” to the article I posted on Monday. In Monday’s article, An Odd Social Distancing Phenomenon, I talked about how this past year God taught me that my physical and mental capabilities have limits. Those limits are good and when I recognize them, I bring glory to God by relying on Him instead of myself. God made me and you with limits so we can learn to lean on His strength instead of our own.

As I wrote Monday’s article, I started to realize I missed an important component to the overexertion equation. I never discussed why I overexerted myself in the first place. If recognizing our limits as finite human beings and abiding by them–showing that we trust God–brings glory to Him, how did I get so far from that purpose?

Something called “the hero complex” drives me to overexert myself. And nothing good comes from the hero complex.

What is “the hero complex”? I enact the hero complex protocol when I discover that somebody needs help. Mind you, not my help specifically–just help from somebody. In the case of teaching in the Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) Children’s Program, they were short volunteers for the year. So, they needed help. I stepped up to save the day. I received the accolades of my friends (who were now able to attend when they previously could not) and hogged all the glory for myself. What a hero I am!

This past year, I learned that I like to be the hero of my story and also everyone else’s story; the helper, the savior, who swoops in at the last moment and awes the masses with her profound ability to do it all.

The hero complex is what keeps me over-committing and overextending myself. I don’t consider how my actions will affect my relationships with my family, friends, and neighbors. I don’t consider that I am already serving God where He placed me. I just look for that round of applause and those heartfelt shouts of thanks. The root of the hero complex is sin, which manifests itself in selfishness and pride.

When I teach and lead for my own glory, I consider myself most important. I’m concerned that my needs are met first, and others’ needs second. I don’t lovingly place others ahead of myself the way God’s Word exhorts me to do. Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” I also try to force myself into God’s place as the ruler of my life. I fail to set my mind “on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2). Selfishness and pride.

This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t aspire to lead or teach (because I do believe God gifted me with those skills to use in the right settings), but I must learn to check my motives. Do I want others to praise God’s name or my name? All of us are guilty of doing things for our own gain instead of God’s glory, but it can be so hard to peel back all the layers to find the core of why we do what we do. That’s why we must “work out our own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12) and trust that Jesus will finish the work He began in us.

This past year, God taught me that I overexert myself because I want the status and glory that comes from stepping in and “saving the day.” This manifests in selfishness and pride as I place myself before others, the exact opposite of how God call us to act in Christ Jesus. Putting others before ourselves doesn’t mean that we don’t keep our own interests in mind, too. Philippians 2:4 reminds us: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Putting others first means that we meet our own needs in a way that equips us to better serve others for God’s glory. Its only by God’s great and marvelous grace that I can ignore the hero complex and serve Him with my whole heart in a way that is both healthy and heartily focused on serving my neighbors instead of myself!