Bonding Through Work Instead of Play

Maremmas are incredible dogs. They’re smart, funny, and affectionate. They know their herd (in our case, our family, our cat Rex, and a growing flock of chickens) and they know how to guard their herd. They won’t do anything they don’t want to do, or rather, anything they don’t see as their job to do. They can be stubborn and sweet, obedient and obnoxious. In short, we love our Maremma, our “little” Luna.

I noticed something different about training Luna from what I could remember about training the dog my family owned growing up, a Springer Spaniel named Daisy. Daisy lived a full and happy life, digging up rocks in the lake at the cabin and gnawing on pig’s ears. She was a great family pet and spent most of her time in the house, with us. Luna, on the other hand, lives in our shed. We go see her a few times a day to feed her and bring her water and to take her out for walks in the woods. She’s unhappy when she’s inside for too long, and finds comfortable spots to sleep in piles of freshly fallen snow.

We bought Luna from this local farm. Before we even went to visit the farm and meet the puppies, I called the owner and asked her a list of questions about how to care for a Maremma. A couple things stood out to me. First, you don’t want to let your Maremma watch your children roughhouse with other children. Maremmas get defensive, and might mistake play for danger. Second, you don’t want to play tug-of-war with your Maremma. This book recommends treating your Maremma similar to how you’d treat large livestock, such as cows. Maremmas need to know that you’re in charge, and you must emanate confidence as you interact with them. Sometimes Luna and I inadvertently play tug-of-war when she tries to steal my mittens, but otherwise, we bond with her through work instead of play.

A Change of Heart

This brings me to the main point of this essay. I like to have fun, and I like to bond with people (and animals) while I have fun. I enjoy making people laugh, playing games, and just general, everyday goofing around. I used to be a nanny. The kids and I bonded as we used our imaginations together and played hide-and-seek and basketball. Even when I used to babysit, I spent more time playing with the kids than doing something else while they played. I firmly and steadfastly believed that my job, as the young adult in authority, was to guarantee that all the children under my care had the most fun they could possibly have while I was present.

After Samuel was born, I hung on to this mentality for the first year or so of his life. This meant that I did all my housekeeping tasks, exercising, and Bible reading while he was either napping or asleep for the night. Sometime after he turned one year old, I realized that if he never saw me working or studying, he wouldn’t know that those things were part of life. I was afraid he would grow up believing that the dishes magically cleaned themselves and that the life of a Christian is easy and carefree. So, I started doing housekeeping tasks, exercising, and reading my Bible while he was awake. As he got older, he learned how to knead bread, unload the dishwasher, sweep the floors, and take out the garbage. These days, he and Ruthie are responsible for folding and putting away their own laundry, bringing their dishes to the sink after meals, cleaning their bedrooms and bathroom on Saturday mornings, and putting away anything they take out.

The Value of Work

As I learned how to work with the kids around, I realized what a wonderful way work has of opening up doors for conversation. Keeping our hands busy keeps our minds busy, too; I noticed that the more the kids and I worked together, the more we talked together. This, in turn, reminded us that work is good. Just tonight, Samuel and I had a conversation about friendship while we hung up clothes in his closet. When Ruthie helps me unload the dishwasher, she likes to tell me about school. My favorite time to talk with the kids is when they’re helping me make food in the kitchen. I like to expound on all the things I’ve learned about cooking and baking since I got married. I hope these conversations stick with the kids, so they can learn how to cook for their famillies, too!

God designed our minds and bodies for work. My pastor recently preached about vocation and listed some of the dangers of not working. He didn’t begin with the monetary cost of laziness, but rather its spiritual effects, which include depression, hopelessness, and meaninglessness. Work that glorifies God, which most work can, brings our lives meaning and purpose. It gives us hope, as we accomplish tasks and fulfill goals, and it helps us build community, as we get to know our neighbors. I can’t wait to serve God in eternity, as I work to care for whatever garden he gives me to tend. This, however, must be a continuation of the work he’s called me to do right here and right now.

Concrete Illustrations for the Win

I love how God puts concrete things in our lives that cause us to consider spiritual things. In the book of Proverbs, God uses the ant to encourage those prone to laziness (vv. 6-8), “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.” In my life, God used a fluffy, sharp-toothed puppy to continue teaching me about the importance of work itself and of doing that work with the people (and animals) I care about. Just as I bond with Luna through work, such as feeding the chickens and checking out what’s going on in the woods, I can bond with my family as we keep the house clean, study the Bible, and live our lives to God’s glory, together.