Motherhood, Sleep, and Everything in Between

I’m here, sitting in Study Hall, watching the snow stream by and trying to remember all the things I wanted to write about as soon as I had time. Of course, none of them come to mind. What I’m mostly thinking about is how tired I am, and how my keyboard keys make such a pleasant clicking noise as I type. My iced latte sits next to me in a glass mug; only a quarter of an inch remains at the bottom, a delicious reminder of a successful morning of Physical Science and Biology.

Students study at separate tables, except for a cluster of three students working on homework together. Their conversation ebbs and flows like the ocean, sometimes school-related, sometimes not, back and forth, back and forth. I enjoy picking up bits and pieces of what they’re learning, such as the ins-and-outs of Dante’s Inferno and speculation about which geometry equations will be on the test. Another student joins the cluster of three, and the conversation shifts again, like a wave spreading out over a sandbar.

Thanksgiving decorations dot the room where we have Study Hall: wreathes with giant sunflowers, wrought-iron pumpkins with tealights in the centers, miniature trees made out of tiny orange, red, brown, and white pumpkins. A plaque on the wall to my right proclaims in red and green letters, “Truly He is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, I will never be shaken–Psalm 62:2.” Amen. Purple mountains line the bottom of the plaque, a visual reminder that God is our strong support and he makes our faith immovable. In the corner to my right, two couches form an L-shape. Every time I look at them, I think about how much I’d like to curl up on one and take a quick nap. They look so fluffy and soft, like summer clouds, or cotton balls.

Sleep is hard to come by for me, sometimes. I want to sleep–I really do–but I want to do so many other things, too! I often remind myself about my priorities at this time in my life. They are home, school, and creating, in that order. Practicing the ukulele, singing, playing piano, writing, trying new recipes, reading good books, and participating in The Habit all fall under ‘creating.’ (Some of those activities support the creative process, while others involve directly creating something.) I often find myself ‘creating’ later in the evening, when I finally have some extra time, and then I have trouble allaying the process. I make all sorts of excuses, but really all I need to do is save my projects for the next day. I know I’ll be a much better mom, teacher, and creator if I’m well-rested.

This seems to be a fairly common occurrence among moms of younger children. We’re so tired by the time the kids go to bed, but we finally have some time to ourselves. What is a mom to do? Stay up late? Or go to bed? I don’t have an answer, but I do know that we’re all in this mom thing together. Let’s keep encouraging each other to adorn ourselves with good works ¹ , starting with our home and family, and radiating out into our communities, all to God’s glory. Let’s also keep encouraging each other to be fully convinced in our own minds about what God has called us to do. Romans 4:7-8 says, “For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” Your priorities probably look a little different than mine, and that’s okay. The world would be so boring if we all pursued the same interests or followed the same routines.

So, here I sit in Study Hall, stewarding my God-given gifts of teaching and encouragement, lesson planning, trying to remember what I wanted to write about when I had time, and thinking about what I’m going to make for dinner. I won’t take a nap on the couches here, even though they’re calling me like sirens, but I’ll probably take a nap in my cozy bed when I get home. I’ll close my eyes…for just a minute…

Photo: Kate Stone Matheson on Unsplash

1. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 ↩