What Exactly Makes Men Different From Women?

“Every culture has recognized the indispensable reality of male and female, and sought to preserve and protect the distinction. Every culture has in different ways tried to equip men to defend and provide, and women to care, heal, and nourish. With nature and history already pointing us in the right direction, we can look back to Scripture, not for a comprehensive code of gender roles, but for additional clarity and insight into that which, as Paul himself says, ‘nature itself teach[es]’ (1 Cor. 11:14).”
Brad Littlejohn, A Natural Theology of the Sexes

“Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.”
1 Corinthians 11:14-15

The above quote comes from the most recent issue of Eikon, an online publication from the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW). I don’t necessarily agree with everything the CBMW publishes or their website contains, but I did really enjoy this particular article by Brad Littlejohn. He presented many helpful insights and even made me laugh a few times. I think you’ll benefit from reading his article, too!

What I liked best about the article is that Littlejohn didn’t specifically define what men and women do. For example, when I tell people we have a garden, they often assume that I am the gardener in the family. Let me tell you–that’s not the case! I’m an excellent cooker of vegetables, but not an excellent grower of vegetables. I’m fully capable of picking produce, but if someone asked me to nurture a seedling into a thriving plant, everything would fall apart fairly fast. I, however, can make a delicious marinated cucumber salad. It’s Brian who maintains our garden and fruit trees, and he does an impressive job.

I do believe that women are better suited for certain things than men, and vice versa. God ordains specific roles for men in the church and family, and also specific roles for women. Of course, women become mothers and men become fathers. Overall differences between men and women do exist and we must not ignore them. Littlejohn pointed this out in his article; the natural world God created displays this truth. But when it comes to hobbies, interests, preferences, and even careers, what we do or don’t like to do doesn’t define how masculine or feminine we are.

How does a man show his masculinity? He defends and provides for his family, neighbors, and brothers and sisters in Christ. He isn’t defined by whether or not he can fillet a fish or shoot a gun.

How does a woman show her femininity? She cares, heals, and nourishes her family, neighbors, and brothers and sisters in Christ. She isn’t defined by whether or not she can make fancy desserts or decorate her home according to the latest styles.

In this way, men and women are not defined by what they do, but rather by who they are. I like this definition. This definition leaves room for men who prefer to provide and defend by working quietly at home and women who like to care, heal, and nourish by going on adventures with their families. I would much rather celebrate, enjoy, and learn from the differences between people and variations in family structure than use others’ unique circumstances to divide what should be united. We can honor God in numerous callings and abilities–thank the Lord we are not all eyes, arms, or feet. That would be completely boring and useless. (And honestly, creepy!)

So, what exactly makes men different from women? Besides the obvious biological components and God-ordained roles, men defend and provide. Women care, heal, and nourish. Men and women can fulfill these duties in a myriad of ways, all of which bring glory to God and point to the delightful diversity of God’s people.

Photo: Markus Spiske on Unsplash