How Psalm 69 Speaks to Depression

Depression feels like the first verses of Psalm 69 describe:

“Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink deep in the mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep water,
and the flood sweeps over me.
I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.”

These verses give me the feeling that David was sinking deep into the darkness of his own thoughts and his own emotions, and possibly didn’t see a way out. In a literal sense, depression can cause our sight to grow dim; we view the world with less joy and energy, and that translates into changes in vision. Figuratively, our perception of the situation in which we find ourselves can become dim and confusing. We don’t know which of our emotions are accurate and which are not. Our trust in ourselves plummets, like we are drowning in our own emotional tides. We wait on God to pull us out of the impending waves.

“More in number than the hairs of my head
are those who hate me without cause;
mighty are those who would destroy me,
those who attack me with lies.”

In the next few verses, David reveals that he has real-life enemies–people who hate him without cause. I don’t have any real-life enemies the way David did. However, when my depression peaked, I believed that most everybody disliked me. Anytime someone reached out to me, I assumed their efforts were due to pity; certainly not because they actually wanted to be my friend. All these doubts are blatant lies of the enemy. If you doubt others actually care about you, combat these thoughts by reminding yourself that God loves you as far as the east is from the west, and that he gave you in the church a group of people to act on his behalf to help provide for your physical and emotional needs. Don’t believe the lies of the enemy even for a second–fight them with truth steadfastly grounded in Scripture.

“What I did not steal
must I now restore?
O God, you know my folly;
the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.”

Depression, in some ways, does steal from you. Depression steals your contentment and returns with doubt. And, in many ways, it is up to you to restore what depression took from you. You can do this in myriad good ways, but they all lead back to the life and hope we find through Jesus.

David does recognize that he does what is wrong; he uses the word ‘folly’ to describe his behavior. We often unknowingly contribute to our own depression, even if those contributions remain small. Before my depression came in full force, I consistently overtaxed myself and didn’t allow myself adequate time to rest. The amount of rest one needs varies from person to person, but we all need some amount of rest at some point. I also let my thoughts determine my feelings instead of weighing my thoughts against what I know to be true. I didn’t realize my own folly until my depression passed a point of no return–not that I couldn’t heal, but that I couldn’t heal without swift and strong intervention. God provides for our needs even in this way: we might require medication and counseling. These are merciful and loving gifts from our Savior and we can receive them with thankfulness, even if they’re not what we expected.

“Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me,
O Lord God of hosts;
let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me,
O God of Israel.”

These verses point to God’s amazing faithfulness. God continues to heal me, and if you trust him to heal you too, you will not be put to shame. The God of Israel hears your cries for mercy. The God of hosts will save you, and you will not be brought to dishonor. I know this because he saved me–not because of my own merits, but because of his great love for me in Jesus Christ.

Psalm 69 ends with praise, security, and everlasting hope:

“Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and everything that moves in them.
For God will save Zion
and build up the cities of Judah,
and people shall dwell there and possess it;
the offspring of his servants shall inherit it,
and those who love his name shall dwell in it.”

Photo: Daniel Sorm on Unsplash