Take Care of Yourself Part II

Hello again, dear friends! This might seem like an odd topic to kick off my return to blogging, but I wanted to address what I wrote in my blog post Take Care of Yourself. After I had Ruthie, I learned a lot about God, and a lot about the world. I struggled for a few months working through postpartum depression/anxiety and panic attacks. I will write about that topic in another post! However, in this post, I will tell you everything I’ve learned about how to “take care of myself.” I think I might, maybe, hopefully understand what all those people were trying to tell me.

First of all, I had to reconcile what the Bible says about “taking care of yourself,” or “self-care,” with what the world says. So many times I was told to take care of myself by my non-Christian friends. I sort-of knew what they meant, but I was suspicious because my Christian friends never talked about self-care or encouraged me to take care of myself. The Bible never mentions self-care, but tells us on many occasions to consider God and others before ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40). I found this all to be very confusing and, until I started having issues with depression and anxiety, I found the idea of self-care to be silly. I didn’t find myself to be very important or concerning. I read the Bible, prayed, and got enough sleep.

What else did I need?!

What I didn’t understand is that self-care doesn’t have to involve worldly pursuits. I think when my non-Christian friends encouraged me to take care of myself, they were encouraging me to go shopping and buy myself something fun, or spend an entire afternoon watching Netflix and eating pizza. I think both of those activities are okay to do on rare occasions, but I think self-care, to a Christian woman, is something entirely different. Self-care means recognizing your limits as a human being, turning to Jesus for wisdom and rest, and remembering that we can do all things to the glory of God, even taking an afternoon away from the home to read a book at a coffee shop or study the Bible with a good friend.

Second, I had to figure out what self-care specifically meant for me. I learned that self-care for me meant teaching myself to relax, and then using those techniques every day. Ever since Samuel was born, I found myself unable to relax, even at times when relaxing should be easy (such as up at the cabin). I always felt guilty about something, especially if I was away from Samuel. I was always thinking about the next task on my list or the next activity on my agenda. I never considered how to love and serve God in the moment in which I was living–the moment in which He had sovereignly placed me for His good purposes.

I taught myself to relax again mostly by doing breathing exercises once a day during my and Samuel’s resting time (Ruthie’s second nap) and by talking myself through daily activities. When I do my breathing exercises, I lay down in a quiet place and breathe in for five seconds, hold that breath for five seconds, and then breathe out for five seconds, followed by two regular breaths, for about fifteen minutes. I also constantly remind myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. For example, while I’m doing the dishes, I try to remind myself, “You can do the dishes for the glory of God! You can enjoy this work because by doing the dishes you are loving and serving your family and the Lord.” Or, if I leave the house, I remind myself, “Reading the Bible with a friend is important for your personal growth as a Christian. You need this time away so you can be encouraged by an older, loving Christian woman who can teach you good things about marriage, parenting, and life in general.” Anytime I start to feel anxious, I do my best to first pray, then take some deep breaths, and then go through all the “reminders” I can think of in my head.

Last of all, I found a few excellent books to read about postpartum depression/anxiety and panic attacks, and talked through my feelings with people I trust. I read “This Isn’t What I Expected” and “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.” I did glean some helpful advice from both of these books, but the book that had the biggest impact on my recovery was “Refresh” by David and Shona Murray. What I like best about the book is that Shona Murray is a Christian woman, a medical doctor, a mom, and someone who also struggled with her mental health. I felt like she knew exactly how I was feeling about everything I had been going through. She offers so much helpful advice that is grounded in the truth of the Bible. I highly recommend this book to any woman! Also, David Murray wrote a book for men called “Reset” covering the same ideas. All the books I read discuss how diet and exercise play a role in recovering from anxiety/depression and panic attacks as well.

So, to conclude this incredibly long post (sorry!), I want to remind us woman that we are all different and we all need different levels and types of self-care. I would guess that a lot of women do self-care activities without even labeling those activities “self-care activities.” I would also guess that I used to do these activities for myself, but somehow got lost and forget about them along the way. I think this idea goes back to the fact for a long time I struggled to relax and serve God in the moments in which He placed me. We live in such a fast-paced society, but as Christians we must take the time to remember the Lord in all things. I care about all of you woman reading this blog, and I hope and pray that you are finding ways to take care of yourselves that are honoring to God and equipping you to better love Him, your family, your friends, and your neighbors. You are all beautiful woman, and I love you!