A Wedding Reading

My sister and I collaborated on this reading for the wedding of one of her friends. She sent me some of her beautiful writing, and I edited her thoughts together.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

C.S.Lewis, The Four Loves

Love is like a river running through the soul. When two hearts connect, their love runs together, intertwined. Once two rivers join in unison, one cannot be distinguished from the other. Love connects two hearts and souls far more than we can understand; love is often unexplainable to the human mind. Why we fall in love we cannot always tell, but we can feel the pull of love holding us together.

During periods of drought when even deep rivers threaten to run dry and the feeling of love is not present, there is life. There is movement. There is a determined route where two streams, although small, continue to run together. When times are hard and all seems barren, and the feeling of love is not present, what holds us together is following the path the rivers carved before. We keep hoping. We find joys in the barren land, and believe that all droughts come to an end. Most importantly, we trust God because He is the Living Water, the one that binds forever. A strand of three cords is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). What binds people together is the firm belief in a loving God who desires to keep together what is beautiful, alive, and flowing. 

You see, love it not a feeling. At times it can be, but feelings aren’t facts, and are often fleeting and temporary. Like mist over water in the early morning, feelings can dissipate and disappear. How much meaning would there be behind saying “I love you” if love was only based on a moment in time? 

When the feeling of love isn’t there, love is an action. Love is alive. Love still moves and love takes risks. God does not say He loves us, and does nothing about it. He shows us. First and foremost, He sent His son to die on a cross, the ultimate sacrifice and act of love. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept, and then after calling out to his Father, brought Lazarus back to life. When Jesus called Peter to walk on the water, and Peter started to lose faith and sink beneath the waves, Jesus immediately saved him. Jesus broke many social norms of His day to walk through the country of Samaria to talk with the woman at the well, bringing her salvation and those in her town who believed. Love is an action. God is love. And God is always working. The Creator of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and End, does not sleep. First John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love.” Jesus tells his disciples in John 5:17, “My father is always at his work to this very day, and I too, am working.” 

Love is a sacrifice. It’s putting someone else’s needs before your own, and laying down your preferences for another. This is easier said than done. Loves goes against the very nature of being human. First Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” As humans, because of our sinful nature, we will fail at loving. Thankfully, love perseveres because true love comes from God. Love hopes. Love doesn’t fail. Love perseveres in patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love does not give up because love takes action for the good of others, not for selfish gain.

[To the bride and groom], I share all of this with you because you aren’t always going to feel like you love each other. There are times when knowing that love is an action is so important. Don’t go to bed upset. Take the risk of being humble, apologize when necessary and talk through the discomfort. Share your emotions with each other and with the Lord, and remember that sometimes emotions don’t require action, but grace and forgiveness. Stand up for one another. Question actions first, and motives second. Ask each other specific questions instead of general questions so you know how to help each other grow. Believe in the good qualities you see in each other. Pray for each other whenever you remember. 

As long as you continue to love Jesus and love one another through trials, challenges, and disagreements, any droughts you face will come to an end and the deep rivers of love that bound you together in the first place will return. They will likely run even deeper and steadier than before! Rejoice in the love God gave you, and continue to love each other no matter what He sends your way. First Thessalonians 5: 23-24 encourages us, “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.“