Why Is Sharing Important? [Wisdom, Love, and My Little Ponies]

Over my few years of motherhood and many years of teaching, I’ve heard a couple competing philosophies about teaching children to share. They go like this:

We do teach our children to share because good neighbors do that. My parents raised me with this philosophy about sharing. If your friend comes over and wants to play with your My Little Ponies, you share your My Little Ponies with your friend. If you’re playing with the blocks and your friend wants to come play too, you share the blocks with your friend. Hebrews 13:16 summarizes this philosophy well: “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” We do good and also please God when we share. Psalm 24:1 also comes to mind: “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof; the world and those who dwell therein.” The world belongs to God. What gives us the right to selfishly keep what He freely shares with us?

We don’t teach our children to share because real life doesn’t work that way. Let’s say you decide to take a walk and listen to some music on your phone along the way. During your walk, a complete stranger comes up to you and says, “I need your phone. I don’t own a phone, so you must share with me.” Some people argue that my examples of sharing above amount to the same situation. We also wait in line when we go to a store, the bank, or the movie theater. We don’t expect people to suddenly get out of the way–or “share” their space in line–when we enter the scene. Real life situations do not require that we immediately share our things with others who don’t have access to the same things. Some could also make the argument that good stewardship sometimes means not sharing what God gave us. Would your church give money to anybody who knocked on the door asking for assistance? Probably not, but you might direct someone who needed help to a charity to which you donate. Similarly, if my friend wants to use my My Little Ponies, I could direct her to a stuffed unicorn instead.

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As I worked on this post, Brian and I had a conversation about what sharing means and how these two different philosophies play out in our family. We came to the conclusion that teaching children to share doesn’t involve a one-philosophy-fits-every-situation approach. As usual, the best approach lands somewhere in the middle. Do we follow the first approach to sharing? Yes! Do we follow the second approach to sharing? In certain situations. Do we regularly pray for wisdom in how we teach our little ones to live upright lives before God? Absolutely!

We teach our little ones to share because God calls us to share what rightly belongs to Him. He calls us to generosity, compassion, and good stewardship of what He gives us. Sharing is a part of that. Sharing teaches children that the world does not revolve around them. Sharing encourages children to look outside themselves to the greater community and to figure out how they can help those in need. Sharing instructs us in the true joy we find from giving to others and making new friends. When we share, we receive abundant blessings in return.

What matters is not that we stick to one line of thinking–one approach or philosophy–but that we teach our children to generously share and be wise with the possessions God gives them. This requires wisdom and discernment on our part as we model for our children what sharing looks like in adult life and encourage them to stop and think during their play with siblings and friends. When we need to intervene, we can use that time to teach our children about generosity, compassion, and friendship. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that a one-size-fits-all approach to sharing doesn’t work well in real life because real life is much too complicated. You can theorize as much as you like, but some situations just won’t fit the mold. We must teach our children to share on a case-by-case basis. This approach doesn’t make parenting easier, but in the long run will help both you and your little ones grow in grace.

God shared with us the greatest gift of all: his Son, Jesus Christ. The least we can do is share what we have with our neighbors and in the process point them to our care for each other and our love for our Savior. As the famous hymn says: “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.” [1] As Proverbs reminds us: “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.” [2]

[1] Peter Scholtes, from the hymn “They’ll Know We Are Christians”
[2] Proverbs 3:13-14